Somewhere towards the southern edge of the tetrahedral world, an expedition gathers...This is for deus ex parabola's edge-climb campaign thingy, not GROG or the Mountain.
I have stolen every word within this post from the Metatron, Sage, Gun Priest, and/or my own Oiled Paladin.
I'm not completely happy with this but I have determined to Just Post and fix it later, if it is determined to require fixing. Death to drafts!
Class: Illuminated Paladin (Purple Heretic)
The Purple Heretics are a gnostic group. They believe their texts contain esoterica never revealed to the masses. In them, alcohol is prohibited and harems recommended. The g_ds' disappearance is a puzzle to be solved, and those who do so will no doubt be among the elect.
You're a follower of the Purple Orthodoxy and you're damned proud of it. You have come here in search of secrets, that you might know the truth of the world. You tattoo your skin and wear your mask proudly, for it marks you as one who is—above all else—possessed of knowledge.
- Do not, through action or inaction, allow error to be taught. Use fire if necessary. Ignore all other tenets if they would interfere with this, your most important goal.
- Do not share information with the unworthy or those who would misuse it.
- Seek out ancient tomes and ruins; do not allow information to be lost or forgotten.
- Correct those who are under false impressions, unless this would interfere with the second tenet.
- Accumulate libraries and stores of secret information, unless this would break the third tenet.
For every template of this class you have, you gain +1 SKLL. You use the specialist to-hit progression, increasing by +1 at templates B and D. If you have at least one template in this class you can never fumble while using fencing weapons or firearms. You can't wear armor unless you have training or templates in another class that lets you.
A: Fieldwork, Illuminated (1 Truth)
This ability applies to debates and arguments as well as physical combat, but only works against targets that are capable of understanding you.
- The existence of the Soul.
Your tattooed skin can interact with ghosts, spells, angels, et cetera as if they existed physically, and your melee attacks deal full damage to undead.
- The fates of the G_ds.
You have +1 AC per template, which doesn't stack with normal armor. When someone you knew the name of dies, their name appears on your right arm.
- The identity of the Fifth Brother.
Your mask is unrecognizable to those you would prefer not to know you, and your tattoos are invisible to those you would prefer not to see them and illegible to those you would prefer not to understand them.
- The origin of Man.
While performing hard labor you need no food, water, nor sleep. Once finished a work, you must 'catch up' on all the food, water, and sleep you missed before working beyond normal human limits again.
- The source of Monkey.
With a word, you can cause everything in contact with your tattoos to fuse to them, holding them—or you—in place. It's probably an INIT roll to use this to stop yourself from falling or something. Obviously you also need to have bare, tattooed skin in contact with the things you want to stick to. Don't do this when you already have a lot of momentum unless you want your Truths to separate from your body.
- The face of Aeshe (PBUH).
You have a 1-in-6 chance per template to know one relevant piece of information about anyone you encounter.
- The location of the Second Moon.
Your tattoos itch when something is being concealed from you. If you would be surprised, you're not.
- The nature of the Stars.
With a word, you can cause your tattoos to glow with the dim illumination of a starry night. This is sufficient to read by or keep track of your footing, but not increase your radius of vision in darkness. While active, invisible things within arm's reach are revealed to you.
- The geography of the distant North.
You can read the current direction and distance to the well at the bottom of the world on the back of your left hand, and are protected as if by clothing appropriate to the environment at all times.
- The creation of the Sun.
Your tattoos emit blasts of infrared light when struck. When something deals damage to you it catches fire for 1d6 damage per round until extinguished. If you are reduced to 0 or lower HP, anyone looking in your direction must SAVE or be struck blind for 107 minutes by an invisible sunburst.
- Purple Mask. Depicts an old man, usually grinning. Allows you to see curse-fog and maybe, sort of angels, and marks you as a member of the Purple priesthood even though that's only about half-true.
- Academic Robes. From a very fancy and reputable institution. Probably worth 10 gp if you can find a buyer that knows how much you paid for them. 1 slot unless you're wearing em.
- Burglar's Clothing. Dark, close-fitting, has plenty of pockets that are perfectly sized for carrying books, writing implements, and thieves' tools situated where they won't get in the way of movement. Covers almost your entire body, with just enough gaps that it's obvious you have tattoos but they can't be fully seen. 1 slot unless you're wearing em.
- Soft Leather Boots and Gloves. Supple, comfortable, not all that warm.
- Parrying Dagger. An elegant weapon, for a more civilized age. A light weapon that counts as a shield in any round you don't attack with it, 1/3rd slot.
- Tattoo Kit. A variety of needles, inks pressed from rare ingredients. Very efficiently packed. 1/3rd slot.
- Writing Supplies. Quills, pens, brushes, an inkpot, at least one piece of vellum. Useful if you need to write a letter, forge a document, or correct inconsistencies in a book. 1 slot.
- Holy Books. As the Cleric's. 1/3rd slot each.
- List of Grievances. Nail them to a church door and they'll cause a whole scene. 1/3rd slot.
- Thieves' Tools. A collection of scalpels, hammers, hand-drills, lockpicks, shims, and the like. 100% guaranteed to have everything you need to do Thief Stuff. 1 slot.
- Sharp Diamond Ring. Could cut glass. Worth a cool 20 gp. Too small to take up space, really.
- Very Nice Perfume. An exotic combination of scents, very distinctive. Probably nobody you meet will ever have smelled it before, worth 30 gp to discerning buyers. 1/3rd slot.
- Rifle. 2d8 damage at a range of 60', -1 to-hit for every 20' after that. Holds two rounds, takes two minutes to reload, and you must purchase the cartridges separately. 2 slots.
- Musical Instrument. You pick which one. 1 slot.
- Hookah. Comes with enough scented tobacco for you to sit around smoking it like an asshole at least 10 times, even if you're sharing it with your friends. 2 slots.
- Fancy Cushion. An excellent seat. 1 slot.
- Very Nice Hat. Your call if it's appropriate to the region (in case you need to blend in) or wildly inappropriate (in case you need to stand out).
- Animal Messenger. A pigeon, perhaps, or an exceptionally well-trained squirrel or mustelid. Not a crow, raven, rook, or magpie—those can't be trusted, they're too smart. 1HD, 1 slot if you're carrying it around.
- Waterproof Matches. Will ignite and burn in any environment; wet, dry, or airless. Box of 20, 1/3rd slot.
- An oddity. Roll 1d6 on the following table:
- WHITHER THE HEART, a medium rapier of bronte and chardun. Attracts or is attracted to iron. Sufficient to block ferrous weapons and projectiles if one spends their whole turn parrying, or always hits creatures that have blood and are not wearing ferrous armor. 1 slot.
- The Gleaming Stone. Warm to the touch, slowly shifts through the rainbow of colors, casts light like a torch. Priceless. 1/3rd slot.
- Papers declaring you—or at least someone who shares your name and description—a saint of the Purple orthodoxy. If read carefully, they also quite clearly imply that you are dead.
- A bone knife with a long handle and a very small blade—more like a scalpel, really. Capable of cutting through anything physical, and some things not. Can be used as a light weapon that deals only 1 damage but ignores armor or damage reduction, 1/3rd slot.
- A pair of round glasses with completely opaque lenses. Render lies visible and everything else invisible to the wearer.
- An enormous egg. Neither you nor anyone else knows what it contains. 1 slot.